Fuck FitFlops. Their slogan is “It’s a flip flop with a gym built in.” Could you please be more of a lazy American? You need your gym built into your shoes? I have news for you–if the only exercise you’re willing to do is put on a pair of flip flops, you deserve to be out of shape.
Listen, there are very few occasions when regular flip flops are acceptable. They are: hangovers/lazy weekends, trips to the deli, and the beach. THAT IS IT. Don’t fucking put on your goddamn glitter FitFlops (below) and trot out for a night on the town. The glitter does not class up the things. What, now you think they’re okay to wear to the meatpacking district? You should be shot.