FitFlops: What a Bunch of Bullshit

Fuck FitFlops. Their slogan is “It’s a flip flop with a gym built in.” Could you please be more of a lazy American? You need your gym built into your shoes? I have news for you–if the only exercise you’re willing to do is put on a pair of flip flops, you deserve to be out of shape.

Listen, there are very few occasions when regular flip flops are acceptable. They are: hangovers/lazy weekends, trips to the deli, and the beach. THAT IS IT.  Don’t fucking put on your goddamn glitter FitFlops (below) and trot out for a night on the town. The glitter does not class up the things. What, now you think they’re okay to wear to the meatpacking district? You should be shot.

Fuck FitFlops, Especially the Glitter Ones

Fuck FitFlops, Especially the Glitter Ones

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