memorandum: i have bangs

apparently, every time i get my hair cut i need to send the following memo to my friends so they recognize me:

dear sirs:

please be advised that i have obtained a new hairstyle which incorporates a tuft of hair above the eyebrows, commonly referred to as “bangs.” see attached photo for further inquiry. kindly update your records accordingly.

best regards,
sue

this weekend, exactly none of my friends recognized me, even though i’ve had this haircut for a solid two months. a testament to the fact that i’ve been holed up in a yoga studio all winter, or that i have shitty friends!

Take note: I have bangs